


In this kitchen everything is seasoned with love

by PoemAboutCitylights



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Code Words, Cooking, Crack, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 07:30:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13383087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoemAboutCitylights/pseuds/PoemAboutCitylights
Summary: General Hux and Kylo Ren keep saying that they should cook.Basically the whole ship knows it's just a code word for fucking.





	In this kitchen everything is seasoned with love

There had been rumours on the Finalizer for longer than most of the crew could remember.  
Many of them weren’t on the ship for longer than a few months, so without having witnessed anything themselves, the gossip was passed on from one trooper programme to the next.  
Not even the officers could distance themselves from it.  
No one was immune to the rumours, to these whispered words whenever their great leaders turned their backs on the crew.  
In fact, those of the highest ranks were probably the most infatuated, since they were the ones spending the most time around General Armitage Hux and Lord Ren.  
Some even assumed that not even the droids were completely neutral on that matter.  
Which consisted of the true nature of General Hux’s and Kylo Ren’s relationship with each other.  
Rumours said that the two leaders, who could not spend a single minute in each other’s presence without bickering or arguing, were actually much closer than they wanted anyone to know.  
  
Basically, more than 70.000 people on the Finalizer were convinced that General Hux and Lord Ren were fucking.  
  
While some Colonels might have been suspecting a suspicious chemistry between the stern General and the Jedi-kid with aggression problems, the penny had finally dropped for the majority of the crew one day when the General and Lord Ren had been right in the thick of a quarrel, nearly strangling each other.  
  
“You are not the king of the bloody universe, Kylo Ren,” Hux had called, his hands forming fists while he had been squinting his eyes.  
A holopad had already paid the prize of their argument, lying on the ground in a million little pieces where Kylo Ren had crunched it with his fist.  
“And you think you are?” Ren had spat right back, his voice so deep that the ground seemed to be shaking.  
General Hux had straightened his spine at those words, clasping his hands behind his back, “At least I have an actual title!”  
Lord Ren had been wearing his mask that day but none of the staff needed proof to know that he was probably trying to murder the General with his look alone.  
There had not been another word exchanged and silence had settled on the bridge, apart from Hux’s heavy breathing after the exhausting of screaming at Kylo Ren.  
It had been the Lord, eventually, who had broken the silence.  
“We should cook something.”  
The General’s gaze had snapped up, eying Kylo Ren suspiciously but there was also something in his gaze that the crew later identified as heat.  
A defeated sigh had come from Hux, his shoulders falling down a little.  
“My place or yours?”  
  
They had left in hurry.  
  
  


So this was how the crew of the Finalizer had found out about the General’s and his lovers apparently not-so-secret code words. The news of the two shagging had spread on the ship like a fire, burning its way through all ranks and professions.  
It explained a lot, actually.  
And it wasn’t the only time that their leaders thought of themselves as clever, believing that no one could see through their code.  
  


Troopers TN-4679 and FN-1204 were on their way to the cafeteria when TN-4679 stopped so abruptly that the other one nearly knocked him over.  
When he was about to open his mouth and ask the other trooper why he didn’t proceed with his task, TN-4679 raised a hand to cut him off and pointed at the pair that was standing just across the hallway.  
Lord Ren had the General captured between his body and the wall, his large hands trapping Hux head.  
FN-1204 shot his colleague a worried look. Was Lord Ren up to something? Was the General in danger?  
When a whiny sound dropped from General Hux’s lips, the trooper was ready to defend his leader with his life, but TN-4679 kept him back. With worry, FN-1204 continued to watch the scene.  
Another almost pained sound was to be heard and Lord Ren shifted his position, now leaning against the wall next to the General and sneaking a hand in his perfectly combed hair.  
General Hux batted it away with an annoyed groan.  
“Hux,” Lord Ren said and his fingers ran down the other man’s face, “why are you so moody today?”  
“I’m not!” the General snapped but his tone was much softer than the troopers had ever heard.  
“Yes, you are,” Lord Ren stated matter-of-factly and leaned in so close that he was covering the General completely, taking his sight away from FN-1204.  
Driven by the worry that the Lord _would_ do something to the General, after all, he stepped forward some more and Kylo Ren turned around in a swift motion. When he spotted the troopers, he brought some distance between himself and the General but his gloved hand remained on Hux’s shoulder.  
“We should cook something nice this evening… To make you…” FN-1204 swore that he saw the General shiver when Kylo Ren ran a finger down his arm, “a little more… relaxed?”  
FN-1204 could not hear anything else the pair was saying because TN-4679 dragged him away from the scene. When they were out of sight, the other trooper smirked at him.  
“Told you they are shagging.”  
  


Colonel Atlas was going through some reports that the engineers had sent to him while eying the damage in the pipe himself.  
“How did it happen?” General Hux asked him and Atlas had to shrug his shoulders in cluelessness.  
The General’s mood dropped visibly when the Colonel could not give him an appropriate answer and Atlas apologized instantly, assuring his leader that he would find out as soon as he could.  
“I hope so,” the General had answered with a cold tone, coming closer to inspect the leaking pipe and the hole through which water was dripping to the ground. Fortunately, they had been able to reduce the water pressure almost immediately.  
But when the General was stepping closer, the waterjet was thickening from one second to the other and just a blink of an eye later, General Hux was dripping wet, water soaking his clothes and dropping from his now flat hair.  
His eyes widened in shock and before Atlas could even react, the General had turned around, facing the person standing in the doorway that let out a loud laugh.  
Colonel Atlas knew it was Kylo Ren before he spotted his tall figure, just from the furious look in Hux’s eyes.  
“You think this is funny?” the General barked, his voice at least an octave higher than usual.  
Lord Ren, whose laugh sounded very odd through the vocoder and his mask, almost fell over in laughter and Atlas tried his best to not attract any attention.  
 “Shut up, Ren!” Hux shouted but his voice was trembling around the edges, probably because of the coldness that was slowly creeping up his body. Furiously, the General got rid of his coat and then started opening the buttons of his First Order uniform with trembling hands. Once he was done, he dropped both parts of his clothing on the ground, now only wearing his pants and a black undershirt which had ridden up on the hemline, revealing some pale, freckled skin and a flat stomach.  
Kylo Ren’s laughing died down immediately and when Colonel Atlas raised his head, he saw that Lord Ren’s gaze was fixed on that strip of naked skin.  
General Hux seemed to notice the Lord’s stare as well, because he quickly pulled down his undershirt with a flushed face that somehow betrayed his intention of angrily staring at Kylo Ren, Atlas thought.  
“Let’s cook,” Lord Ren said with a hoarse voice and something in the General’s face changed completely.  
“No,” Hux eventually said, “ _you_ cook and I’ll just enjoy.”  
“I can live with that,” Kylo Ren said and even though he was wearing his mask, Colonel Atlas _swore_ the caught a glimpse of the Lord licking his lips.  
His face grew hot in embarrassment of what he had just witnessed.  
  


When it happened another time, Officer Drax was watching their leaders curiously.  
“Why are you in such a good mood today, Hux?” Lord Ren was asking the General and because he wasn’t wearing the mask today – he hadn’t been doing so for a while, now – Drax could spot the exact same curiosity in the Lord’s eyes that was probably also showing in her own.  
And she had to admit that Kylo Ren had a point.  
General Hux _had_ been unusually cheery all day, only ordering an execution two or three times and a grin had been playing around his usually so stern lips for hours.  
“It’s your birthday,” the General answered cheerily and continued with his work while a deep frown appeared on Lord Ren’s forehead.  
“And…?” he asked.  
“That means you will get presents,” Hux replied, not even looking up from his datapad.  
“So…?” Ren asked, more impatient this time.  
“And I got you a very nice one,” Hux answered, still not looking up from the screen.  
Kylo Ren shifted a little closer to the General, “What is it?”  
Hux eventually looked up and let out a snort, “Please. That’s a surprise, of course.”  
“Just a tiny hint?” Kylo Ren asked and Drax thought that he sounded like whiny teenager, while hoping that the Lord wasn’t walking around in her head at the moment.  
He seemed very distracted, though.  
“Pleaaase?” Lord Ren added and Drax actually had to suppress a smirk now.  
“You’ll like it. It’s for the… cooking.”  
Drax’ breath got caught in her lungs and she had to fake a cough.  
_What in space…?!_  
“For me to use or for you?” Kylo Ren asked, with a very unfamiliar look on his face.  
General Hux’s half-smile turned into a smirk, “For me.”  
“But it’s a present for me!”  
Hux nodded slowly, “Yes. But trust me, you’ll like it. It is rather about the… outcome. The effect.”  
Officer Drax had to turn away from them.  
  
Had she actually just witnessed a conversation about the sex toy the General had bought his boyfriend for his birthday?  
  


Some days later, it happened again.  
This time, General Hux was working on the bridge as on any other day, when Lord Ren strolled in, stopping right behind Hux and hugging the smaller man from behind.  
“Cooking in my quarters later?” he asked casually and the General simply nodded absently, sending Kylo Ren off with a gesture.  
  


It was a few hours later, on the very same day, that KHY-6, a third class droid programmed to do the laundry, silently rolled into the quarters of Lord Ren, picking up some dark pieces of clothing from the ground when its sound sensors detected strange noises coming from another room.  
KHY-6 was well aware that these were the quarters of the man that the whole ship was gossiping about.  
So when the little droid rolled towards the closed door, he thought of it as its task to find evidence for the rumours it had heard.  
There was another sound and a quick data check identified it as a _moan_ , a noise that humans apparently made when in pleasure.  
Since the door was not closed completely, KHY-6 had no problem opening it up enough to get a glimpse of what was going on.  
The droid identified the room as the cooking area.  
Moreover, there was the red-haired General sitting on top of a table with his legs swinging freely and his eyes closed while Lord Ren was holding a spoon with something that General Hux had apparently just swallowed.  
“Oh god, Ren,” the General said and that moaning sound was there again.  
“Good?” Lord Ren asked and KHY-6 sensors identified the look on his face as pride.  
“It’s amazing!” the General replied, looking up at the Lord with a smile.  
“Family recipe,” Lord Ren mumbled and there were some red spots on his cheeks. Was he ill?  
It was then that the General spotted KHY-6 in the doorway.  
“Why is there a droid in your kitchen, Ren?”  
The Lord shrugged his shoulders, “It is responsible for the laundry.”  
“Then why is it here?” the General asked suspiciously and KHY-6 remained still.  
“Why are you here?” Lord Ren asked.  
KHY-6 rolled further into the room, stopping right in front of the two leaders.  
“It is my task to find proof, Sir.”  
“Proof of what?!”  
It took the droid a few seconds to find the word he had heard the crew say so often.  
“That you fuck.”  
“ _What_?” the General’s gaze met Lord Ren’s.  
A few moments passed until the General spoke again, “We’re not fucking. Why would anyone think we fuck?”  
He searched Ren’s gaze for an answer but the other man just shrugged his shoulders.  
“Who thinks that? And why?” he asked KHY-6.  
The droid found the list of people that had made that assumption in the back on his data storage but he knew that it would cause a system crash if he tried to load them all.  
So he settled for, “Everyone, Sir. It has to do with a code word.”  
The General’s voice hurt KHY-6’s sensors when he spoke again, with a very high voice, “What? What code word?”  
 “Cooking, Sir.”

General Hux took a deep breath.  
“So the whole ship thinks that _cooking_ is a code word for _fucking_?”  
A smirk appeared on Kylo Ren’s face, “Apparently.”  
“But we don’t! Fuck, I mean.”  
“Yeah,” Ren replied.  
Hux blinked.  
Kylo Ren blinked.  
“But why not, anyway?”

**Author's Note:**

> So I had this idea and I thought it might be cute and yay...  
> What do you think?  
> xx


End file.
